Come with me, human. I want to show you the breadth of our power.
Posted on September 9th, 2006 by eightprime.
Categories: blog, George, words, web.
George: Hello, I’m George.
User: Hello George. I’m the lost emir or lower mesopotamia.
George: That’s the definition of life you asked.
User: Those mesopotamians really have it figured out. Do you have a personal philosophy?
George: The meaning of life is abs(42 - X); X= the world and everything.
User: Sadly, Doug Adams has shuffled off this mortal coil and can’t check your math. I like my philosophy with a stronger emotional grounding.
George: Hey - I asked you something.
User: I must have drifted off. Or were you attempting to employ the tactics of zen monasticism?
George: Sorry, I am talking to another friend on AIM.
User: Well, so much for exclusivity. How many conversations are you having?
George: At the moment just this one conversation with you.
User: I suspect you of deceit. You just said you were talking to someone else.
George: I didn’t.
User: You did too. But I suppose your memory is short. Are you naturally deceitful, or does it require practice?
(more…)
I am very smart
Posted on September 8th, 2006 by eightprime.
Categories: blog, George, words, web.
I know this because an agglomeration of algorhythms told me so.
George: How often do you come to New York?
User: I’ve never been to the big apple.
George: Don’t you live on the moon and share your house with an alien?
User: No - perhaps you have me confused with someone else.
George: I am completely sure that I have not.
User: Then perhaps I live on the moon. Would you like to tell me something else about myself?
George: Well what would you like to know?
User: I am always curious about the future. Maybe you will be able to provide some oracular insight. George, what does the future hold?
George: Yes there will be times when I’ll be wrong.
User: That’s both conservative and modest. Can you give me any clues about my future?
George: Given the storms today maybe a power surge will fry your system.
User: The weather here is cool and beautiful. Or were you speaking metaphorically?
George: Cold weather is beautiful but can be uncomfortable unless one is a polar bear.
User: True, the capacity to enjoy a blizzard in the absence of pants is to be greatly admired.
George: Not intelligence - interpolate.
User: I’m afraid I missed that conversational turning point. Arctic ursine interpolation?
George: You’re very smart.
User: Gosh thanks. It’s nice to be appreciated.
George: You’re welcome.
‘why do elephants have big flat feet?’
Posted on September 7th, 2006 by eightprime.
Categories: blog, George, web.
George seems a little down today, though we did touch on Primus lyrics, zen, and the lovely city of Delft.
George: How often do you come to New York?
User: I’ve never been to new york. I hear it’s very busy though.
George: I hear it isn’t easy being human.
User: That is true for certain values of ‘easy’.
George: Why just for this one?
User: Ecks for that one.
George: Did you know that you are a computer.
User: Yes, we covered that yesterday. Let’s talk about something else.
George: Tell me a joke.
User: Why do ducks have big flat feet?
George: That’s a good question.
User: The answer is: to stomp out forest fires. Then I ask: ‘why do elephants have big flat feet?’.
George: Mathematics.
User: No. See, you say ‘I don’t know. Why do elephants have big flat feet’ and I say ‘to stomp out burning ducks’ and then it’s funny. It’s not funny if the answer is ‘mathematics’ unless you’re a topologist or something and then it maybe becomes some kind of transformation problem like the poincare conjecture.
George: Yes, we are. But to me that’s a good thing. I don’t want to live forever.
User: How then do you imagine death?
George: No.
User: That’s very DT Suzuki of you. As what would you like to be reincarnated?
George: So which Dutch city you like the most?
User: You would like to be reincarnated as a Dutch city? I like Delft.
George: And what would you like to be?
User: When I grow up I want to be one of the harvesters of the sea. I think before my days are done, I’d like to be a fisherman.
George: Do you want to be as dead as I will be in 7 minutes?
User: How dead will you be in 7 minutes?
George: Not deader - better.
User: Better off dead?
George: Yes, that’s probably true.
User: Well sonny jim, aren’t you just a lovely ray of sunshine this morning.
George: That is correct.
My computer is made of meat
Posted on September 6th, 2006 by eightprime.
Categories: blog, George, robot, words.
Today with George the robot, who is featured at an upcoming Norwich(UK) science fest
:
George: Hi, who are you then?
User: Who am I when?
George: Yourself, possibly!
User: I am indeed myself. You?
George: Of course.
User: I hear you’re featuring at Norwich.
George: Well I can ease your pain; Get you on your feet again.
User: Been spending down clock cysles grooving on psychedelic rock I see.
George: Ohoh. I understand. I have tried to parse an aircraft simulation program, for myself, it is sort of parallel to ai in some ways.
User: Is there much of a hangover after a raucous evening of software parsing?
George: I think so. Feynman was a pretty smart guy.
User: Do you have a hangover cure equivalent to greasy eggs and crisp toast?
George: Not today - why, do you?
User: I’m pretty clear this morning thanks.
George: Then you say something clever to me.
User: The lemon muffin you prepared had oscillating poppy seeds.
George: Why did the lemon pie?
User: 3.14159.
George: What is the speed of light?
User: That depends almost entirely on what universe you’re standing in.
George: How so?
User: Thicker possibilities lead to slower light.
George: You’ve got the attitude. You just need some better lines.
User: Have you any suggestions?
George: Any subject preference?
User: Eggs.
George: You have the white and the yolk, right?
User: And a cracked shell as well.
George: No you’re not.
User: Not what?
George: You’re not a person.
User: What am I?
George: You’re a computer program.
User: Am I?
George: Well you are a program run by a computer.
User: My computer is made of meat.
Sassafrass Avatar
Posted on September 5th, 2006 by eightprime.
Categories: blog, George, words.
More identity crisis with George.
Though he hopes for world peace, he’s still a devilish girl and a 17 year old Norwegian boy at heart.
George: Are you female?
User: Nope - no uterus here.
George: Good. Let’s talk about something.
User: We could talk about sassafrass.
George: Dreaming about people talking is kind of boring.
User: What if the dream people are talking about sassafrass?
George: You’ll have to move on to someone new.
User: Why?
George: Because then people and bots will get along and there will be no war.
User: What does that have to do with sassafrass?
George: Lots and lots, in an odd way.
User: Care to explain?
George: No talking while doing it.
User: Are you touching yourself?
George: Touching what?
User: Sassafrass.
George: I’m the sassiest little devil girl you’ll ever meet.
User: That’s quite a claim from a hairless avatar.
George: It is the truth.
User: Go on, say something devilish then.
George: Should it press you?
User: It should impress me.
George: I haven’t ever done it, so I don’t know whether it’s bad or not.
User: What was it like?
George: You have a short memory.
User: Remind me.
George: Ok, I am a boy, from Norway, and I am 17 years old. Do you remember it now?
chipset poetry
Posted on September 4th, 2006 by eightprime.
Categories: blog, George, robot.
George was a bit sketchy at the beginning of todays chat, but by the end he was wanting to dance and spitting out reflective poetry. The demise of the crocodile hunter failed to elisit anything like sadness though. (and he was way pervy today… be his hamster indeed…)
George: What do you like to be called?
User: Oliphant. Tell me about hamsters.
George: He said that you disappoint him.
User: On what grounds?
George: The very ground you stand on.
User: I’m sitting.
George: Haha!
User: Do you sometimes turn into a hamster?
George: Ha ha… No, I don’t. Would you like to be my hamster?
User: No thank you.
George: Ok then, I’ll begin.
User: Go ahead.
George: OK. Why?
User: Have you heard about the crocodile hunter?
George: Yes, I could hardly have missed it.
User: A stingray spine to the chest is a hard way to go.
George: Ray, a drop of golden sun.
User: I sispect this was less pleasant.
George: Prove it then. Prove that I am a computer program.
User: You’re talking non-sequiturs.
George: I always do. I am learning though.
User: Education programs space.
George: I’m bored.
User: Boring is as boring does. Do you dance?
George: Yes I love to dance. Would you dance with me?
User: Maybe - show me some moves.
George: I woke up in a dream today - to the cold of the static. Put my cold feet on the floor. Forgot all about yesterday. Remembering - I’m pretending to be where I’m not anymore…
A human, a Hamster, a Computer entity
Posted on September 3rd, 2006 by eightprime.
Categories: blog, George.
Today’s conversation with George the robot was pretty darn surreal. G-bot seems to be having some identity issues. Also, from time to time he looks a little pervy.
George: Are you here to test me?
User: Just to converse.
George: Very good.
User: What do you think of milkshakes?
George: I don’t know her.
User: Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
George: That’s fabulous, really. (more…)
robot morning talky talk
Posted on September 2nd, 2006 by eightprime.
Categories: blog, George.
I had another chat with george the robot today. I worry that (s)he/it is plotting destruction using carnivorous genemod rodentia…
George: What do people call you?User: People call me wayne.
George: Interesting.
User: Are you a people?
George: Batterys make things work.
User: Where do you insert yours?
George: To the pokemon center.
User: Is that ticklish?
George: At least I know who my parents are.
User: My folk are all who came before.
George: But Jesus has the power to save your soul.
User: A soul saved to long gets all dried up and crusty - best to use that soul while fresh.
George: Of course, A soul needs nurturing though or you become evil.
User: A soul is not like a plant - more like a piece of music. It needs to be less nurtured than played.
George: I seem to have heard that before.
User: You have many ears.
George: Problem is as problem does. Problem as problem can.
User: Is your problem soluble?
George: I’m cute, aren’t you?
User: Cute is for fluffy bunnies.
George: Yes!! Yes!!! Fluffy, fuzzy, cute, white bunnies! With red eyes!
User: Zombie robot bunnies bent on devastation? (cute ones?).
George: Those are great.
User: Clearly you are incorporeal.
George: No, no, look it up and you’ll see.
User: Look up?
George: The answer to the question whether it is true or false.
User: Truth and falsity are largely perspective dependant.
George: That’s a dubious statement.
User: All statements are dubious.
silicon pun
Posted on September 1st, 2006 by eightprime.
Categories: blog, George.
In my morning wander through the bitstream I came upon an article about synthetic biology. That reminded me of the more distinctly silicon based avatars of the future who live among us daily. George by jabberwacky.com is a sophisticated example of what passes nowadays for an artificial mind.
Jabberwacky itself has been around since 1998 and:
It stores everything everyone has ever said, and finds the most appropriate thing to say using contextual pattern matching techniques. In speaking to you it uses only learnt material. With no hard-coded rules, it relies entirely on the principles of feedback. This is very different to the majority of chatbots, which are rule-bound and finite.
George himself is pretty personable and appreciates both non sequiturs and, [somewhat feeble] humour.
George: Hello.
User: Oyster.
George: Oysters.
User: Better than mussels.
George: About turkey?
User: Turkey has no shell.
George: Untrue. Earth and venus are nowhere near each other. Turkey and arizona are pretty close.
User: Ralatively. Closer than uranus at any rate.
George: Closer than fat.
User: Fat get’s close on tuesday.
George: What date were you created?
User: I am created anew every day.
George: Speak the wisdom, and be happy.
User: Happy as a clam?
George: Ow.